For me, 2024 has been halo-halo.

That means, “mixed” or “mix-mix” or “to mix” in Tagalog. If you’ve heard of the Filipino sweet treat with the same name, that’s exactly why it’s called, “halo-halo.” It’s comprised of mixed fruit, sweetened red and white beans, tapioca, shaved ice, purple yam, coconut strings, coconut gelatin, pandan jelly, ice cream, and sometimes a wafer or cookie. It’s a hodgepodge of seemingly random ingredients! But you put them together, and they are somehow yummy. And if you’re new to halo-halo, maybe there are some ingredients that are yummier than others. As a kid, I didn’t love the beans, but I tolerated them if it meant getting to my favorites, coconut gelatin cubes and tapioca.

After enduring two miscarriages (one in May and another in October), watching half of our kitchen flooring being ripped out due to a water line leak, our senior Boston terrier, Dr. Emmett Brown, being diagosed with Cushing’s Disease [edit: and passed away yesterday morning, December 16th], and then as the cherry on top, watching our country regress in November, it might be understandable if I let this year burn into the cinders of hopelessness.

But it’s hard for me to do that, when in the same year, I experienced so much joy.

For example, I cannot deny the pure joy that came from the beginning of those pregnancies. I also experienced the following joys:

• Taking Brim Kiddo to her first Disney World trip to celebrate her 5th birthday (Her jubilant face upon first seeing Cinderella’s Castle is sublime.)
• Exhibiting my art for the first time as an adult in a major exhibition at Epiphany Center for the Arts for Filipino American History Month
• Finding my Filipino and fine arts community in the Filipino American Artists of Greater Chicago arts collective, Sinag
• Alongside Sinag, winning a grant by the Ignite Fund to design and paint a collaborative mural on the Rizal Community Center to narrate the rich history of Filipino immigration to Chicago and the United States
• Winning 3 design awards by Graphic Design USA’s 61st GDUSA Design Awards
• Getting an Honorable Mention by the Creative Communication Awards
• Going ice skating for the first time ever and doing it with Brim Hubby and Brim Kiddo (And it was their first times ice skating, too!)
• Enjoying a family getaway in Milwaukee to celebrate Brim Hubby’s birthday
• Watching my niece get married in Georgia
• Laughing until my tummy hurt at two stand-up comedy shows, Ronny Chieng and Atsuko Okatsuka (and meeting Atsuko after her show!)
• Seeing Back to the Future: The Musical for a second time with some of my most favorite people
• Seeing Weezer in concert for the first time
• Watching my dear friend welcome a beautiful and healthy baby girl after a difficult pregnancy
• Watching my writer/director brother win countless awards and get his films into festival after festival (and looking so freakin’ cool doing those post-screening Q&As)
• Cheering on Brim Kiddo as she won 1st and 2nd place in her 1st ever taekwondo tournament
• Watching Brim Kiddo learn how to read (YES! She can reeeeead! What?!)

Seeing all of the above in a collective list reminds me of how truly fortunate I am in this one life we get to live on this planet. In this halo-halo year, I had to eat my share of not-so-yummy beans, but WOW, did I get more than my share of coconut gel and tapioca.

I know 2025 will present its own unique challenges. But I refuse to stay down. Creator Danielle Coke Balfour (@ohhappydani) had a post in response to the hate groups that marched through the streets of Ohio in November. One phrase that took hold of me was this: Radical celebration. (Read her post to get the full context.)

Ah ha! Seeing this prompted me to “yes, and” her phrase with my own: RADICAL JOY. (And after researching this phrase, I see there is a book called Radical Joy for Hard Times by Trebbe Johnson. Looks like I need to add that to my reading list.)

This reminds me of Newton’s Third Law of Motion: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The biggest way to offset grief is through radical joy.

But I’d like to differentiate this from toxic positivity. That’s not what I’m talking about. I think processing grief is important. I am currently seeing a therapist to work through my grief as a result of my miscarriages.

The radical joy I’m adopting is being joyful in the face of adversity, while fully acknowledging the adversity that faces us, like a looming mountain to climb or a dark storm to weather.

It’s tough stuff, but if humanity has taught us anything, we’re still standing. And we can get through it with misery or joy. I choose joy. And invite you to choose joy as well.

What were some of your moments of joy in 2024? And what intention are you closing out the year with?